Your life is lived by your rules. And your rules are meant to work for you, not against you.
Create a world in which you feel true to your core, you feel loved, you feel important, you feel worthy, you feel comfortable, and you feel safe. Choose yourself and keep choosing yourself, the rest will sort itself out. Published: Author:. What is 'Choosing Yourself'? Ellen Nguyen is a Vietnamese writer based in London. She's the founder of TinglyMind.
The happiness option is sometimes not even on the list. So we must learn to not be so rough on ourselves, or others. We are human. Be still. Let some happiness seep in when it can. It comes. It will get easier. Choose Love.
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Mix the sadness with peace and love. These two lovers can dilute the sadness a little, or a lot. Sometimes they can even turn the sadness into happiness.
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Author I like to write. God help me as You have all my life. You are not alone. But do seek help. I have seen it work for others. Never give up! Each afirmation makes it that bit closer. Thank you for post such a wonderful blog. Keep up the great writing!
And thanks to this article I can add to my list. Thank You for this article, Purpose Fairy. I remember a few years back when I was just as how you described. Somewhere during that time probably because of my stressful job , I lost my way and became a lot more bitter and upset than usual.
A lot of these action steps will help me better myself and bring out the old side of me again and help move forward with my life. Great list, and awesome insight. Some I have been able to let go, but others are still a challenge. What a great list.
I have been working on many of these, and your list brings a few others to mind. I will print this out and put it somewhere I will see it frequently. The loss of a pet is a reason to grieve and to mourn. Those are okay. And, believe it or not, it is also okay to laugh when you hear that someone you loved passed on. Use one suggestion to live into another:. Give up your attachments that say Death is a Negative. Give up living up to expectation, it says. Give up on the fact that trauma defines who you are.
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It does not suggest these are easy tasks! They apply to the Big Stuff, too. Be challenged by what you read here; if you need a blog to tell you to stop complaining, and blaming other people, so be it, but that is not what it was written for. But the sooner one is willing to face the past giving it up would be to reject the experiences that formed you, which would leave you without a reference point — why would we want that? Give up on your fears.
Fear is not an illusion. If we create it, then it exists. Thank you Lucius for your clarity, it has been insightful-dealing with lost friendships… Purpose fairy is a wonderfully appropriate name, god bless. Lucius, I absolutely agree to you response. Also, Chrisfer, I, too was hurt when I read comment When someone has a mental illness, they still strive to better themselves. Many mental illnesses can be treated with medication. Having said that, I must add that when a mental illness is made stable through medication, that person who suffers from it oftentimes wants to feel normal.
An article such as this would then target them as an audience just as much as a person who is not mentally ill. Danaadmin, please do not exclude people that suffer from a mental illness. You cannot possibly understand them unless you have been in their situation. Otherwise, keep writing uplifting articles. Just remember to carefully word your responses to the resonses. There is a few I have to work on. Because of our talk, I thankfully have given up quite a bit.
I relied on others for information. NOW I have the only one in me heart to go to and who is the chief healer.
I, as we all should be going to the Lord forever. In the world we look at so many different views and have not only our habits, but seem to take on others. Again, thank you. Previous therapy sessions never touched me as deeply as this piece just did. Although everyone could benefit, this should be required reading for ACoA.
When Choosing Happiness Seems Impossible
You can choose to engage in a conversation with someone who is blatantly ignorant and feed their flame or you can realize that person is exactly what you do not want to be like and you can grow. The quote by Jung is spot on. Everything comes down to a choice. Reaction is always within your control. No one can tell you how to think. Be forever mindful and transform negative energy into positive energy. Since I doubt anyone is going to disagree with you, while I agree with most of these some of these are not only counter-intuitive but are also anti-motivational and simply put, horrible advice.
Also engaging in short term things that make you happy will have long term consequences. Give up the need for Control: this should be give up the need to control external things. Yes you might be happy shoving your face with ice cream, but ultimately this lack of personal control will lead to obesity and sadness. Give up complaining: in certain contexts you definitely should complain especially when it has impact. If the government is doing something that is going to destroy your life, again complain.
There is a certain amount of complaining that is necessary otherwise you will become apathetic. There is nothing wrong with going the extra mile because you know it will impress people. Putting in more time in the office, or spending more time at gym. While these things might remove short-term happiness they can give you greater long term happiness. This should be available in a large poster format. It would be a perfect constant reminder plastered on my office wall. This post does an excellent job of speaking to all people who, at one time or another, have experienced and can relate to all fifteen items it addresses.
I think for people who have been diagnosed with having a mental illness, continuing to communicate with a professional is a helpful solution and should be continued. However, if you think that this post does not relate to you then you are mistaken. To think that your illness will not allow you to act on these lessons as they are presented is a falsehood.
I have been depressed and suicidal myself. I have experienced the transformation first hand of rising out of the darkness into light. For others in dark places or have had a doctor tell them that they have a chemical imbalance that causes them to act a certain way, it is never too late to change your brain.
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